Mixology
by ISayOye
Summary: Jim, Pam, and alcohol.
1. Chapter 1

"You're really beautiful, you know that?" He said seriously as soon as he saw her walk through the door. "I mean it. Just…beautiful." His hand reached to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear and cup her face. "I'm really lucky because you are so beautiful."

"Hey, Beautiful. Do you mind taking him home?" His brother quipped from the other side of the room trying to clean up where Jim has recently regurgitated his dinner. His breathe still smelled like burnt hamburger, his eyes still a little red and swollen from the tears that naturally find their way down when the throat hurts as much as his did. Still he couldn't stop smiling at Pam, constantly keeping some sort of physical contact with her, muttering 'beautiful' under his breath.

"What did you do to him?" Pam asked trying to collect his things from the table. "You didn't take all of his money. He still has a girlfriend to take out, you know." She sat on the arm of the couch across from where Jim was sitting. Tilted her head and just watched him as he watched his hand hold hers as if it was something he had never done before. Like a baby discovering a new part of its anatomy and becoming completely fascinated by it.

"Philly lost Pam. I'm sure the five bucks he's got left will be enough to get you whatever you want off the value menu."

"Come on Jim." She tugged his hand and pulled him to his wobbly feet. "Thanks, Jon. I appreciate it. Really." She struggled the words out as Jim started falling back on to the couch he had just gotten up from.

"Do you need help getting him to the car?" Jon made his away across the room lifting Jim up from one side letting Pam take the other. "This will make a good hour ride home."

After finally tucking Jim into the passenger's seat and under a seat belt Jon hugged Pam goodbye and they made their way to the freeway. "Don't want to go home, Pam." His voice indicated that tears were soon to follow.

"Why not?" She asked carefully.

"I want to get married. Make babies. Name them Halpert." He gave a little laugh at how ridiculous his thoughts sounded out loud and didn't seem to notice the car swerved a little. That wasn't anything close to what she expected him to say. He turned to her with a smile that caused the rest of his face small amounts of pain. "Pam…Halpert!" It was almost as if he were intimidating Michael. "Pamela Halpert."

"What did you drink tonight, Jim?" She avoided him almost completely not knowing what her mind was supposed to think of his drunken rambles.

"I don't remember. Jon made it. You know, we should get married. I want to get married."

"We can't get married tonight, Jim. You're mother would probably hunt us down just in time and kill us both."

"I don't care. I want to marry you. Let's go to that city that marries people…and get married." His voice was still as deep and serious as ever.

"We're not going to go Las Vegas tonight. Maybe we can next month or something, but we're going home right now." She tried to her best to sound less irritated and more like the voice of reason. She knew she shouldn't be at all upset by the fact that he wants to marry her in his drunken state but this was not how she pictured the first conversation they would ever have about their future. It was supposed to come with wine that they both could enjoy and she'd wait for him to casually bring it up. Right now she was disturbingly sober and trying to focus on the road in front of her.

"I don't want to go home…I want to get married." He said like a stubborn child who knew that they were not going to get their way.

"I know. I'm too tired though. So we're going to go home and sleep, and then we can talk about it tomorrow when we're both sober, okay?"

"I'm not that drunk Pam. I know that I love you. I know that I want to marry you. I don't think the fact that I had a couple of shots at football party is going to matter." He defended himself obviously offended enough to make himself sound more and more sober with every word. He leaned against the door, his head against the window, upset with the idea that he was too drunk to know what he was doing.

"Hey," She said only loud enough to get his attention so he would look at her. She looked at the road for a second to make sure that she wasn't about to run in to anything living before looking at him. "I love you too. I'm just tired so let's go to my apartment and get some sleep, okay?" His eyes went back to staring at the lights the passed by.

When they got to Pam's apartment complex Jim had sobered enough to walk up the stairs still angry with her. Landed face first in her bed still fully clothed.

The next morning Pam was sitting indian style next to his sleeping form reading over her assignments on her laptop she had just gotten for Christmas from her parents. "Good morning." She smiled down as he squirmed against her leg practically hugging it as if it were her entire body. "How do you feel?"

"Uuuurrggg," Jim groaned. "How did I get here?"

"Jon called and wanted me to pick you up. Apparently you wanted to do karaoke in the middle of a football game, and then started asking for me."

"Jon lives an hour away."

"I know." She leaned the upper half of her body against his lower stomach and curled her herself so that her head lay just beneath his chest.

"You drove an hour out of your way…two hours out of your way all together because Jon asked you to? Should I be jealous?"

"Insanely." She smiled. "I went because you were asking for me and there was no way you were going to get here by yourself."

"I figured I'd just wake up on Jon's couch and then call and beg for your forgiveness. I'm sorry if I was difficult." He said slowly knowing that the last time he had gotten drunk he had tried to pummel his brother for suggesting that he move on from Pam when she was still getting married.

"You were…sweet." She hesitated.

"What did I do?"

"You tried to talk me in to eloping with you, and when I tried to tell you that we couldn't elope you got really mad at me…and then you passed out." In her mind she was laughing at the complete ridiculousness of the night before but also scared by his silent reaction.

"I…I don't…" He ran his fingers through his hair slightly pulling at it. "I have no idea what to say."

"I was cute Jim. You said you wanted to 'make babies and name them Halpert.'" She laughed as he groaned.

"How did you respond to that?" He didn't seem at all amused.

"I said your mother would hunt us down and kill us, which is true by the way. You're mother hates me."

"She doesn't hate you. I think she wouldn't mind if her son eloped as long as she thought it was what was going to make him happy."

"She doesn't think I make you happy."

"You do make me happy." He smiled down at her reading the nervousness suddenly written across her face. "What would you have said if I was sober?"

"You're missing a few steps before you get that kind of answer." She quipped sitting up in the same position she was in before he had woken up.

"I'm serious, Pam."

"So am I!" She states with a smile. "There's process and questions you have to ask before you get those kind of answers. You don't get to know until if or when you decide to ask the right question."

"So, I can't ask that question while drunk?"

"No. That question is not acceptable while drunk because you might not remember doing it and then that would be sad. Wouldn't you want to remember something like that?"

"Yeah. How about during a hangover when the memory would be fully intact?" He started to play with her fingers making it hard for either of them to take their eyes off of where their hands were interlocked.

"Depends on the hangover," she answered in a clam and slow voice. Almost childishly sweet to it's core.

"Small headache, only enough nausea to not want to eat but not enough to have anything come up, probably going to go away soon, pretty bad breath but nothing a toothbrush couldn't fix, but other than that perfectly fine."

"That doesn't sound too bad. It could work." She laid back down on him again not wanting him to see her face since they both knew what was coming now. His hand moved away from hers and started to rub small circles on her stomach as if he could read her mind when she thought about her butterflies.

"Will you marry me?" It was practically a whisper but there it was in perfectly sober words.

"Yeah, I think I can do that."


	2. Chapter 2

"What were you thinking?" There was no real indicative emotion behind his voice which probably made it sound all the worse when his tone hit her ears.

"I was thinking 'maybe I should make Jim's mom hate me more. I'm only about to become apart of her family.'" She was very clear and focused with her multiple levels of anger. First at herself for letting things get out of hand and second at Jim for coming from such a spiteful woman. "I love you. Why can't you just tell her that I love you?" Her words were still slurring even an hour after Jim's hand had finally taken the glass out of her hands. "And my poor mom was just sitting there watching your mother talk about me like I was some whore who tricked you into marriage. This was you're idea!" Each word hit a new octave.

"My idea? Should I ignore you because you're drunk or do you really not want to get married? Don't do me any favors, Pam." It was his turn to yell a little. Eyes clearly focused on the road and nothing else.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Her eyes wouldn't leave his even though he wouldn't look at her. Small little drops started to slowly climb their way away from her eyes before taking a plummet down her face. "You don't…" She couldn't even finish when the tears started coming quicker and it was hard enough in her state to come up with words in the first place causing Jim to finally turn and face her. His hard face softened almost as if it were going to completely melt away.

"Don't. Don't do that." His glances moved quickly between the road, her, and back to the road again. He was half tempted to pull over. Instead he moved his hand to her thigh and started comforting any piece of exposed skin he could reach. "I want to marry you. More than anything I want to have a life with you but I can wait if you're not ready. That's all I meant." Cool, calm, collected. What he should have been when he first picked her up from her mother's house but instead he ended up getting pulled in to her drunken world and now she was crying because of him. If he weren't in control of the car right now he'd probably crawl in to the fetal position for a few days.

"I want to marry you. I've always wanted to marry you." She returned back to regular tone while one hand on his and the other finally whipping worthlessly at her soggy cheek. "I don't see how you people don't seem to understand that. Why can't she know that?"

"I'm the baby, Pam." Their fingers started to intertwine on top of her bare skin where her skirt started riding up. "You're going to be like that some day too, you know."

"We're having babies?" She perked up with excitement giving him the first genuine yet somewhat sloppy smile he had seen that day. It had seemed like all the women in his family were dreading this lunch he had set up mistakenly thinking that since he and Pam had gotten engaged all the tension would be gone because this was clearly real. Seeing her happy after the small quake he had just caused made his cheeks plump out with a giant grin.

"Of course. We're going to have a big family. Lots of little Halperts intent on world domination."

"With whose uterus?" she asked the smile fading slightly with confusion.

"Maybe not a big family but I want us to have some children. I think you'd make a great…slightly neurotic but great mother." His hand let go of hers and started to move up her leg pausing where her thigh began in her lap.

"Like your mother?" She quipped and chuckled as he quickly pulled his hand away from her all together.

"We're not getting away from this are we?" She shook her head clearly amused laughing a little harder than she normally would. "Well…lets talk about something else. Anything else."

"I'm almost done planning our wedding." She smiled taking his hand back wishing she could see the other one letting the very thought of their wedding sober her up. She caught herself staring at his ring finger imagining what it would be like when there's an irremovable ring indicating to the rest of the world he was hers for the rest of his life. Like a nice 'hands off' sandwich board. She wonders if that's how he feels whenever his eyes catch even a small glimpse of her engagement ring.

"We got engaged last week." He stated a clear fact and nothing more.

"I know, but you told me I could do whatever I wanted. You just wanted it to be legal. So, everything I was supposed to plan is pretty much done. I just need to give the print shop the addresses to send the invitations." Her smile couldn't get bigger and her cheeks couldn't be more swollen from it.

"So, do I get to know when my own wedding is or am I not even invited?"

"I'll have to think about it." She brought his hand to her lips for a small kiss before locking their fingers together for a second time and dropping their hand in to her lap.

"Three months. September 19th."

"How long have you known that?"

"How long have you been planning to grow a village in my abdomen?"

"Well played." His eyes slowly drifted over to her. His lips were tight together in a smile that she knew better than anyone could. He was happy.


	3. Chapter 3

The tile was cool against his face. It was the only small comfort he got until he felt a hand run its way up and down his back eventually landing in his hair. "Hey," she whispered in to his ear. "I was worried about you." She was sitting between him and the toilet her legs spread out to her side so she was able to lean over him while still relaxing. "I didn't think anything could tare you away from your good friend Mr. Potty." Her voice picked up as she let out a little laugh causing him groan.

"Do you have to be so loud?" His words were more like a mix of sounds that would only make since to her ears. She smiled down at him while running her fingers through his hair. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay Mr. Grumpy Pants," she teased and he gave a loud unpleasurable moan in return. "This is the price you pay for letting your brother hire a stripper two weeks before your wedding."

"There wasn't a stripper." Silence. "Was there a stripper?" There were certain moments in the night that Jim couldn't remember. All he could see were black spots in time like little flashes that went by.

"Yes, and I hope you got a good look at her chest because it will be the last other woman you will ever see naked again, Mister." She leaned down and kissed his check.

"I didn't want a stripper, Pam. I told them no strippers! I mean, you're brothers were there!" His voice echoed in the bathroom. He rolled over on to his back and his hands instantly went to his hair grabbing fists fulls. "I can't believe…" He started under his breath.

"I'm just kidding." She kissed his cheek a couple more times before continuing looking down in his wide puppy dog like eyes. "There was no stripper. Apparently you had the world's most boring bachelor party ever which might explain why you drank so much and that headache you've been complaining about in your sleep."

"That's so not funny, Pam!" He barked at her but didn't pull away when she pulled him back to his side so he could bury his face in to her check and she had room to continue rubbing his back.

"You know, you could have had a stripper. At least then you wouldn't have done shots of tequila out of boredom." She kissed him lightly on the neck. "I mean, a barbeque and poker game? You already randomly do that all that time. How is that celebrating your last couple weeks of freedom?"

"I'll always be a free man, Pam. I'm just going to be a free married man who doesn't feel the need to acknowledge other women exist because he loves his wife and she would probably kill him."

"That makes perfect sense. Have you peed yet?" He was caught off guard by the sudden changing of the subject.

"No…?" He couldn't even think of a clever comment to come back with. She helped pull him to his feet and then started to take off his shirt. He leaned in to kiss her hands her hands went to his pants, and when she pulled away from him he brought back the wide puppy dog like eyes.

"You're breath smells like vomit and your skin smells like rotting burnt beef that sat in a pool of vodka all night."

"Way to let a man down gently." He took three steps away from her until his legs hit the side of the bathtub and he started to fall in. One arm instinctively went under to somehow cushion his fall while the other one reached out to Pam. She latched on to him with all her strength and pulled him back up. When he was completely back on solid ground he grabbed on to Pam wouldn't let go. "I love you," he said in a shaky voice in to her hair. "I love you so much and I'm so glad I'm going to marry you in 13 and half days."

"I love you too." She lifted him up so she could see his face and whipped the hair off his forehand and out of his eyes. "Are you alright?"

"That stomach thing." When they had first started dating Pam wanted to go to an amusement park as a way of introducing Jim to her brothers. Stick them with a few rollercoasters so they'd barely notice the tall guy they don't know dating their little sister. The only small flaw in Pam's plan was the fact that Jim was terrified of that feeling that happens deep in the pit of the stomach as he starts to fall. He associated it with death.

"How about you take a shower and brush your teeth and I'll make you a breakfast you can spend the rest of the day trying to keep down. We can eat it in bed and if you're really freaked out I'll even let you pick the movie."

He unconsciously continued to nod as he turned towards the tub. "I hate this thing."

Nearly an hour later Jim emerged from the bathroom looking almost entirely like himself again. Pam's back was to the bathroom sitting at the kitchen counter reading a cookbook with a large pile of breakfast burritos sitting next to her. The room was clouded with the smell of her 'special bacon' as he liked to call it but all he could pay attention to was the way her glasses lay on her face. She hasn't been able to get into the bathroom to tame her hair yet so the wild curls lay all around and framed her so perfectly that he couldn't help but touch them as he pulled up to her side. "You're beautiful," he whispered in her ear before kissing her cheek. "Thank you for taking care of me." He wrapped one arm around her back and another one reached in front her toward the burritos but she smacked his hand away. He tried to give her the wide puppy dog eyes look for the third time that morning but she wouldn't look at him.

"You get the special bacon when you pick the movie." He smiled as he started to walk away. "And try not to pick anything with anyone who looks like one of your exes." She called out after him.

Her face was burning from the way it had embedded itself in to the carpet hours before. As her eyes started to slowly open she saw Jim lying on his side with his head on a pillow staring at her. Around four a.m. in the morning Jim heard giggling behind the sound of his front door slamming shut. When he walked around the corner ready to reprimand whoever it was that was going to be the cause for his latest spat with his downstairs neighbors he saw his younger sister pour Pam on to the carpet and leave dragging Pam's sister-in-laws with her.

"I don't get a pillow?" Her voice was fragile like a small child asking for their favorite blanket they can't sleep without.

"I tried to share with you but you kept saying you couldn't because you were getting married in a week."

"To you."

"Yeah, I don't think you knew that. Were there men at this party?" he asked trying to keep calm and not jump to any conclusions. He had told Pam that as much as he loved how much she trusted him enough to have strippers at his bachelor party he wasn't completely comfortable with her having any at hers. The last thing he needed was some muscular guys in a thong making Pam realize she could probably do better even in spite of her many attempts to tell him that it wasn't possible.

"A lot. I think your sister just used my bachelorette party as an excuse to spend time with a bunch of frat boys." She scooted over to him so she could rest her head on the pillow and pull his arms around her.

"Did any of these frat boys try anything?" He rubbed her back but didn't look at her face. He wasn't all that happy with his sister at the moment. Initially he was against the whole idea of letting her be the one to throw Pam's bachelorette party but after long drawn out arguments she had won Pam over.

"There was one guy that spent like a good twenty minutes talking to me and then when your sister called me the bride he suddenly disappeared. No one did anything though."

"How could he not know you're the bride? Weren't you wearing a veil or something?"

"I'm not wearing a veil in the wedding. Seemed a little weird do it just for the party. Anyway the party was kind of lame. I took a pitcher of your sister's lemonade and went upstairs to watch television."

"I'm sorry our last parties of singledom were so lame." His eyes finally traveled to her face. He couldn't help but let his lips land on hers.

"What are you calling lame? I spent some quality time with Humphrey Bogart."

"So, how is the other man in your life?"

"Heart broken. He was accused of murder and the woman he was in love with thought he did it and left him."

"Well, why don't you go console him?"

"What do you think I'm planning on doing when go do groomy type things with your brother this afternoon."

"Then who's going to take care of that pulsing headache? I can see your veins convulsing."

"Shush. If I pretend it's not there then maybe it will go away. Like a certain fiancé of mine." He took his cue and kissed her temple before emerging from the small pile of blankets. "How long is this manly excursion going to take you anyway?"

"We're just picking up the tuxes to make sure that everything will be there for the wedding and then I will be coming back here with some of those famous grilled cheese sandwiches from that place you were talking about. You know, the one's we're having at our wedding."

"Mimi's?" she asked perking up physically letting her blood rush in all different directions causing her to groan and fall in pain. "Oh boy…"


	4. Chapter 4

iYou take the air in

iYou take the air in  
You take the whole room in,  
hold it for all time,  
hold it in your heart like amber  
you take the night in  
you take the consequences major in your life,  
not by what is safe to wager/i

Their bodies were firmly pressed against each other will no space between them. His hand started at her shoulder and roamed down the form fitting satin to rest just above her rear on her hip. His mind wasn't entirely unaware of the crowd who didn't necessarily have all their attention on them but just incase a camera was clicking somewhere he would have to control himself.

He had never seen her like this before. The dress was simple, white, satin, that clung to her body at the top and fell a little more lose as it went down. It had no sleeves but that wasn't noticeable since she was well endowed enough to hold it up and her hair covered her shoulders. Her hair had been straightened as much as it possibly could have been and then let go until there was just light waves that cascaded down like loosely pulled apart curls and tucked loosely behind her ears. There was no jewelry on her being other than the her new ring that branded her wedded to the man holding her for the rest of their lives in front her engagement ring that matched perfectly.

He was wearing only a simple suit that was brand new for the occasion but still made him feel under dressed next to his wife. Wife, that was new too. He had on a black jacket, black plants, black socks, black shoes, black vest, white button down shirt, and a white tie. He looked like every other groom he had ever seen before. He had gotten a hair cut the other day so it would look more natural and less fresh today but there was still some of his regular shagginess that practically made up part of his identity.

iSmile, there's no regrets  
Layers wash through our hands and  
then you never see tomorrow coming  
You only feel the wake of it  
Smile, there's no release  
This flood of life won't cease  
To leave you lying in wild amazement  
Or reeling in the wake of it/i

They started out pressed up against each other but soon her hands were tucked in to his pulling each other back and forth sway their hips before landing right back up against each other again and spinning. Jim had suggested that their first real moments as a married couple should be filled with life and happy sentiment rather than the songs most couples pick that somehow usually having infidelity undertones to them.

iYou take the grandeur  
And I'll take to wondering  
the error of my ways  
I could ponder this forever

Smile, there's no regrets (no regrets)  
Layers wash through our hands and  
then you never see tomorrow coming  
You only feel the wake of it  
Smile, there's no release (no release)  
This flood of life won't cease  
To leave you lying in wild amazement  
Or reeling in the wake of it, oh no

Smile... smile... smile... smile... /i

The room could have been spinning but he didn't notice. His eyes were focused on her stumbling towards him with her heels in her hand. She smiled at him biting her lip before sinking down on top of his lap. "My feet really hurt," she whispered in his ear.

"You look beautiful." She was wearing about the same amount of make up she wore to work every day so when her cheeks started to turn red it was all too noticeable. It wasn't the first time he had said it to her that night, that hour, and still she blushed just as much as the first time. "I'm really happy right now." That wasn't entirely new to her ears either. "So, what brings you over to this side of the room? I thought my sister was going to have you on the dance floor for the rest of our marriage."

"I was just wondering if it was wrong that on the day of our wedding…I really want a beer or a glass of wine, or anything other than this god awful campaign you let your mother pick out."

"You know, she's family now." He kissed her cheek as he said these words to possibly help lower the blow. "We did get the open bar." His hand slowly graced her behind as she lifted herself up and off of him. She reached out to his hand, the one with the ring she had placed earlier, but instead he wrapped both his arms around her making it more of a challenge to walk but more pleasurable. He placed small kisses on her check through her hair and hoped that the photographer was earning that extra charge he demanded for the candid photos. "You know…" He kissed her bare shoulder as they reached the bar. "We could just grab a bottle of whatever and disappear…"

"Because the bride and groom would go unnoticed," she said with a large smile as she turned to him. She looked at his tie for a moment reaching out and touching it before looking him dead in the eyes with the kind of look he had seen before and sliding her hand down his chest. "Maybe alcohol is a bad idea. You still have to get my guarder belt off in front of everyone and still manage to control yourself."

"What if we disappear for a like ten maybe fifteen minutes?" He stepped a little closer than their families would have liked, looking at her with eyes that weren't ended for the public, and snaked his arm around her waist before kissing her. "Five minutes?" He whispered in her ear before leaving a light kiss on it that made her knees weaken.

"Do you really want to start of our marriage with a quickie? What does that say about our future?" She took her glass from the bartender and sly headed back towards their table perfectly aware of the view he was getting watching her walk away.

The key card jammed at the first slide through and after four tries Pam took the card from his hands. He had insisted on doing things right with his arm supporting her back and her legs bent across his other. She shoved the card in with one try the green light came on and Jim pushed the door open.

Inside the hotel room the bed was unmade. Instead of the cliché rose pedals like Jim had asked for extra large condoms were spread across the bed. On top of the pillows were a karma sutra pamphlet and a book entitled "101 Ways to Keep the Marriage Alive."

As soon as Jim dropped her Pam went running to the bathroom giggling still a little tipsy from the bad champagne and really good wine. "My brother's a genius," he said factiously before sitting on the bed.

"Oh my god!"

"What's wrong?"

"I think I just sat in shaving cream. You know, if any of it got on my dress there's a very good chance I might kill your brother."

"Says the woman who went pee in her wedding dress."

"Not the first time. Before the ceremony I had to pee but didn't have enough time to get out of the dress. Your sister actually held a bucket for me to pee in. I think her friend actually took pictures." She came walking out of the bathroom looking as beautiful as she did the first time he saw her that day. "Extra large, huh?" She picked up one of the condoms before sitting next to him resting her head on his shoulder. "Is it wrong that I'm a little tired?"

"Yes." She waited for him to say more but it was a plain statement.

"Alright. Do what you have to but if I fall asleep it's not my fault."

"That's like the sexiest thing you've ever said to me. I don't know how I'll ever be able to keep my hands off of you at this point."

"Is it bad that we're starting of our marriage with sarcasm and me already being too tired for sex?"

"You have been up since like 4am for no apparent reason. The wedding was really beautiful and everything went smoothly. The reception was perfect."

"No. The reception almost gave me a heart attack. We almost didn't have enough cake."

"How could there not be enough cake? We ordered a lot of it. I mean, we made purposely made it so that we'd have enough to in our freezer and then more to sustain us for the next month or so."

"They forgot to bring the last layer…the one that's really meant to feed people. Thankfully your dad took the phone away from me before I could even start talking." Her eyes wondered around the room settling on something in the corner next to the bed. "What's that?" Jim reached down and picked up the two boxes from the floor and opened the note.

"Just incase Jim isn't enough for you. Love Michael," Jim read. He pulled apart the paper did a double take at the box. "Michael bought you blow up husbands."

"Afraid of some competition?" She did her best not to smile but after he threw the boxes down on the floor she couldn't contain herself. He got up to quickly wipe all the condoms off the bed and to carefully place the books near their luggage. He had a look on his face that she had never seen before when he started to make his way towards her. She bit her bottom lip and waited for him to tackle her.


End file.
